This past week has been one of the hardest weeks I have ever had to endure. I lost a cousin, someone close to me and I’m still in denial. After being in the E.R. on Tuesday and receiving that call in the middle of the night, everything has just blurred together. I’m not good with emotions and feelings and the amount of insurmountable heartache and pain I have been feeling has been kind of crippling. I don’t know how to deal with all of this; it feels as if I’m in a really bad dream that I would really like to wake up from. I wish that I had more time with him and I wish that I had told him that I loved him more. It breaks my heart to see how he tore himself apart and the pain he must have been enduring before the end, but at least he is no longer in pain. Rest easy, cousin, I’ll always love and miss you.
You will always, always be my favorite. There’s nothing else I’d rather do than waste my mornings and afternoons than tangled up in you. My heart is full and happy, more so than it has in a very long time. (: